How Do You Get Your Children to Smile in Family Photos?

Since starting my photography business fifteen years ago I’ve had the pleasure of photographing children in countless environments. From weddings to baby showers, newborn sessions to family events, one of the questions I’m sometimes asked by parents is: how do you get my child(ren) to smile in photos?

And the answer is I don’t.

I always endeavour to deliver a collection of relaxed photographs where everyone feels and looks at ease.  So I’d feel very uncomfortable giving you a list of ways to get your children to smile naturally in family photos. For me, there’s a paradox between “getting your child to do something” and wanting the end result to be “natural”. You can’t force natural and you shouldn’t force happy.

Some of my favourite portraits of children are the ones where they’re not smiling at all. Of course not much beats a beaming smile from the little people in our lives, but there are SO many other emotions to explore through portraiture and personally I love the honesty of a dour expression. It’s all part of being human!

As well as capturing candid and often hilarious expressions of children feeling anything from sad, silly, bored or plain unimpressed, I do seek joy in all my family photographs. For me a huge part of my role is to tease that joy out and that’s about building positive relationships with everyone involved, from newborn babies to elderly great grandparents!

My job is to document your story, not to dictate it. So when I photograph your family portrait session, let this chapter in your story reveal itself in front of me. I’ll guide and encourage you to play and interact with your children, before stepping back and capturing your story on film for you to cherish for years to come.

Of course, as a parent I’m not ignorant to the fact that the “let’s just roll with the punches” approach might feel unnerving when you’re investing in a professional family photographer! So for clarity, there are two reasons such a phrase might come out of my mouth ahead of or during your session:

1 - Kids will be kids! They are little people in the making, often with wide mood bandwidths, and the worst thing I could do would be to apply a rigid schedule or specific rules and restrictions to the photography session. It would be entirely counter-productive, as it would dampen their natural energy and dim the light of their unique character.

2 - I am taking all the responsibility for capturing the magic on my shoulders as the professional. Of course I'll offer guidance and ask for help when it’s required, but for the most part I want parents to relax and enjoy the experience as much as their kids.

I’m inviting you to trust me to create something artful that reflects this moment in time for you and your family. That said there are of course a few things we can do together to set the foundation for your portrait session and maximise the fun levels on the day!

I’ve noted down a few tips below, as well as evidence to support how allowing your child to smile naturally will create the best portraits for your family...

Prepare children for their portrait session

Supporting your children to look and feel happy in front of the camera begins before I’ve taken my lens cap off.

I’ll introduce myself and ask any kids who are say 3 and up a few ice-breaker questions, so they can begin to feel more at ease with me. I’ll also introduce them to my camera and ask them what they know about what happens next and why we’re taking pictures today, so I can fill in any gaps and answer questions they might have. It’s always helpful if they’ve been briefed a little ahead of time, so they already feel included and part of the experience.

Children are so responsive to a decent sales pitch! So if they’re wary, give them your best marketing proposal, e.g. “On Saturday we’re going to go to your favourite park with a lady called Victoria. While we’re having fun playing, she’s going to take some photos of us all together with her extra special camera… wait ‘til you see it, it’s really funny looking!” To the iPhone generation, it really is.

As a parent I know that children who are informed and know what to expect are usually more relaxed and content than those who have had this sprung on them at the last minute. As a photographer, it gives me a head start when the children in front of my lens are clued up and ready to actively engage with the process.

Tell me your family’s story beforehand

Part of the reason I have a chat with you before the photography session takes place is so I can get to know your unique family dynamic. I’d really encourage you to talk openly with me, so I’m familiar with details which will help me to ensure you and your children enjoy your family portrait experience.  

Having some background information about your family will likely help your child to feel more at ease with me too. For example, if they’ve recently had their first visit from the Tooth Fairy or a special award at school, then let me know – that’s a great ice breaker for me to have in my back pocket!

Having photographed families of all shapes and sizes over the years I know that each is unique and everyone responds differently to having their photo taken. Knowing things like whether your child is shy or likes to be communicated with in a certain way really helps me to strike the right note and make a good connection with them on the day.

Playing children are happy children

Children are much more likely to smile when they’re at play. Being at play with the undivided attention of parents (although the older ones might not admit it!) is a double win, so that’s precisely what I’ll be encouraging during your session.

You know your children best. So, taking into account their ages, think about how you can incorporate some natural play into the session; such as having your photographs taken at your local park or bringing a few carefully selected props along with you.

Play, be yourselves and your family photos will be all the more lovely and cherished for it!

Make everything, but me, familiar

For a lot of children new experiences can be a little scary. So apart from me with my camera, think about how you can make everything else familiar to them. I find this is particularly important for children in their early years.

Choose a setting for your session which they love. Let them know well in advance what outfit you’ve picked for them and have it laid out at home. If your child likes to dress themselves, support them to have a bit of control – such as choosing which pants they’ll wear or picking between a handful of (pre-approved!) clothing options.

Be sure to make everything around the portrait session familiar too. Arm yourself with their favourite snacks and their water bottle. Time your session so it doesn’t mean they have to miss out on something they love, like a sports match or dance class and keep to their normal routine as best you can on the day.

Let them roam free

Ensuring my families are smiling during their session is one of the many reasons I like to shoot outdoors. The natural world and a bit of open space work wonders at allowing children to feel free and comfortable in front of the camera.

Also, the beauty of working in the outdoors is that we’ll have the option to move and switch things up if your child does start getting wobbly in front of the camera.

In these situations, we can give them prompts which will naturally draw a smile:

“What do you think this flower smells like?”

“Can you balance along this log?”

“I bet you can’t catch Daddy?”

Don’t be tempted to shout: “Say cheese”!

If your child is of school age, think about the school photos they’ve had taken. Now, you might be really lucky and have some absolute classics of them sitting beautifully, in their (hopefully!) still clean uniform without their dinner around their mouths, smiling sweetly and looking directly down the lens…

But my guess would be that a lot of you have photos where your child looks shocked by the flash, having been bribed to be there; uncomfortable from the little to no interaction they’ve had with the “stranger” behind the camera, pulling a face that looks more like Wallace from Wallace & Gromit than the natural smile that lights up your world?!

Such a forced environment, where an adult has usually told the child to “say cheese” can make for some pretty unnatural portraits. For the parents they’re certainly a must-have memento of their school days (and arguably a right of passage no for them no?!), but it’s not what we’re trying to achieve in your family portrait session.

Remember, smiling comes naturally to kids

Did you know that the average child smiles 400 times a day, whilst most adults only smile 20? So, based on those statistics, it’s you grown-ups I’ll be working harder to make smile!

Smiling is usually the first milestone your child reaches, often at around the six week mark… you remember that moment don’t you? As the very first thing they have “learnt” to do, you needn’t worry about them not smiling in front of the camera. Smiling just comes naturally to kids.

If you like the sound of this, then get in touch and we can chat all things family portraits! I’d love to hear what having your story captured on film would mean to you.