The Photographer’s Struggle With Imposter Syndrome

On Sunday my first ever podcast interview went live and man I was bricking it! Let me tell you why…

I’ve been a social photographer for 15 whole years.

I’ve photographed countless weddings, newborns and centenarians, mums-to-be and families of all shapes and sizes.

Over the years I’ve also been employed to photograph food, pets, shops, homes, cars, offices, cafés, churches, planes, fashion items and gardens… you name it, I have probably photographed it.

I’ve won awards from the British Institute of Professional Photography.

My photographs have been published across countless international blogs and published in printed magazines such as Condé Nast.

I license stock imagery to Getty who sell my photographs to companies all over the world.

Clients have on several occasions paid hard-earned money to fly me to a different country, because I was the photographer they wanted.

Yet despite all of this I still struggle with imposter syndrome when talking to my peers; fellow photographers who I assume are far more talented and knowledgeable than me.

The podcast is called ‘Gather to Grow’ and it belongs to Mel and Yaz who have established a fast growing community of family and motherhood photographers.

Listeners will be social photographers; veterans and those who are relatively new to the industry. Listening back on Sunday I had this realisation that I was swiftly moving into the veteran category!

During my conversation with Yaz I recalled the industry shift from film to digital and the wave of digital photographers who flooded into the world of wedding photography - spraying and praying and calling it “documentary”. I WAS one of those photographers.

I remembered the golden age of flickr. Where amateurs taught amateurs and we all posted daily hoping the explore page would find our photo and share it with the masses… all long before the idea of instagram had even been conceived!

I recalled the dodgy photoshop colour actions of 2010 - the year the skies turned yellow! Purple overlays were à la mode and in an effort to fit in with the latest trends, I absolutely embraced this editing style. Looking back these images are rooted in that era, when editing software became accessible to the masses and a new influx of pro photographers all went a bit colour crazy!

I was there.

I attended Catherine Connor’s Aspire workshops up in the Lake District when there really wasn’t any other photography education available.

I was there too when Jon Canlas burst onto the international scene in an effort to encourage this new generation of digital photographers to get back to the roots of their craft and embrace film.

His workshop in London in 2011 changed the trajectory of my photography career… once the process of shooting film had been explained I was hooked. It made sense to me. I had never enjoyed editing and film gave me the opportunity to outsource all of that to a professional lab, get back to basic and concentrate on what was happening in the frame.

AND the resulting images were rich, luminous and just downright dreamy! Every time.

I was there at the Art & The Heart workshop led by Australian wedding photography legends Dan O’Day and Samm Blake back in 2012.

In 2014 I flew to California for first ever Field Trip at El Capitan Canyon, where I had the opportunity to mingle with, learn from and do rounds of shots with countless incredible US photographers and creatives.

I celebrated my 30th birthday in Cannes with my photography bestie, Kate Rossin, before photographing a beautiful wedding in Grasse together the following day.

I was there for the first major algorithm outrage in 2016, when instagram moved away from the chronological feed and photographers were first outraged to discover they could no longer guarantee their work would be seen by their own followers, let alone potential clients.

I could keep going, but the point I suppose I’m trying to make is this: I’ve been in the photography game for a long spell now and it’s time to put the imposter syndrome to bed.

I’m not sure why it’s always been there…

Perhaps because I’m self-taught.

Perhaps because I have a tendency to lean more into service than artistry.

Perhaps it’s perfectionism.

Perhaps it’s self-doubt.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a millennial woman who struggles to celebrate any personal achievement!

It doesn’t really matter.

I’ll be turning 40 in a few weeks and I’m refuse to spend the next 15 years struggling with feelings of inadequacy around my work as a professional photographer.

The fact is I love what I do and yes… I’m good at it!

I still have more to learn and that’s an exciting prospect in itself. There’s no set path and no finish point, just a twisting road littered with bumps and potholes to keep the journey interesting!

I know from speaking to friends in the photography space that imposter syndrome is really common. I suspect it’s common across a lot of creative industries, where comparison is rife and criticism is personal.

So I wrote this partly to have a word with myself, but also on the off-chance it might help another photographer who struggles with this from time to time too.

You are not alone.

You are not a crap photographer.

You are on a creative journey manifesting itself as a photography business, just like the rest of us.

Some will be a few steps ahead of you and some will be a few steps behind.

To quote all the woo woo people out there - you are exactly where you are supposed to be!

If you’re a social photographer or a creative of any sort reading this and something in what I’ve said has landed with you then pop me a message or reach out over instagram - I’d love to connect with you and hear your story.

And if you’re curious to listen to the podcast episode that made me realise just how ancient I was becoming you can do that here!